Hero To Zero!

As the firsts travel to Tintwistle tomorrow, conveniently avoiding the Tour De France that takes place next weekend, the weather forecast should mean that there will be ample time to discuss the curious case of Luke Schofield’s wicketkeeping. We approach the half way point in the season, and last season’s runaway winner of the division 2 award has precisely no victims this year. Is it down to bad keeping? Is it down to bad bowling? Who knows? I think he may have become distracted by his latest tome: The Luke Schofield Book Of Stuff. This exciting publication, following hot on the heels of Luke Schofield’s Book Of Shapes, contains such gems as “Every golf course has 18 holes” (corrected in future editions), there is such a thing as a fishing match, and Carlisle isn’t in Wales. We will, of course, be revealing more of the contents of Luke Schofield’s Book Of Stuff in the near future. So what will be next for Luke? Well, Joe Beveridge remarked last weekend that he must have been brought up in a cupboard, which would explain a lot. The question still remains…Is Luke actually from Narnia? 

The Executive Committee never ceases to be a source of amusement, and from last month we see that Bob Yates has offered praise for the Secretary’s Annual Report. Now, the report does indeed deserve praise for something, but it was actually published in January. Could it be that the length and verbosity of the report meant that it has taken Bob a full six months to read it? And speaking of readership, Caddy has had a few unfortunate errors in the Club Handbook pointed out to him, and of course he has, in the past, blamed the committee for these oversights, even suggesting that they deliberately overlook the errors during proofreading so that he can be ridiculed after publication. I am sure he is perfectly capable of spelling “water off a duck’s back”! 

The next fundraising event will be at the Sheps on World Cup Final day. Volunteers required to sell sweepstake entries and organise any other fun and games that could add a few much needed pounds to our coffers. 

Finally, the under 17s go from strength to strength. Fresh from bowling out Hayfield for just 8 they recently demolished Buxworth for 28, and then proceeded to rack up a handsome victory against the same opposition in the Compstall Cup. The semi final awaits on 17th July. Watch this space…